Lady Ponder

A blog for the real and contemporary woman


Why you need to get your Sexy back mommy!

I am a good mom and I like to feel sexy

Sexy’ – not a word you often hear associated with motherhood. A mother can be beautiful, graceful, loving, kind, stylish, but NEVER sexy right?1

I realized just how real this perception is this weekend when I was going out with the girls, and a family member asked if my attire was appropriate for a mother (he was referring to my stilettos), now this statement was made in humor and I did not take offense, but it did get me pondering on what is appropriate for a mother to wear and what not. And the answer is EXACTLY the same as what is appropriate to wear for any person without a child (the operative word being appropriate, not mother).

It has always been important for me to feel good, and to feel good it helps a little to look good, It never occurred to me once I became a Mom that any of that was supposed to change.

If we gain weight after having a child, we’ve ‘let ourselves go’. But if we regain our figure, we’re body-infatuated, and don’t care enough about the child we just had.  If we live in our joggers, we’re shabby; if we dress sexily we’ve thrown away our morals. We can’t win.

Being considered sexually attractive and a good mother at the same time doesn’t seem to gel well with civilization. Because there’s an inherent link to the quality of someone’s parenting skills and the way they dress, right? Wrong. There’s no steadfast rule that demands mothers must surrender their sexiness in order to be good parents.

Being desirableFotorCreated and being maternal for some reason is considered mutually exclusive, it’s a constant struggle for moms to fit their two hugely different roles into one body, and its usually one of these roles that gets neglected entirely, and being a mother I know you know exactly which one.

Suddenly that permission to be sexy and motherly turned into a mandate, and that’s a mind-set that only YOU can change.

Every single woman has it within her to be both sexy and maternal, regardless of her size, race, style or lifestyle.

Moms should learn to tuck their maternal side away when they want to and enjoy being a sexy woman. And there is 1 single word that best describes sexy……Confident. Confidence is the sexiest feature possible, and when you look and feel sexy, you will perform better in every single role in your life.

I am no fan of the Kardashians, in fact I have never watched a single episode of their reality show, but I did follow the latest debate after Kim Kardashian took her newest addition for a stroll in a sexy black suit. And some of the comments just confirmed the ignorant premise around this subject.

On the Facebook post, someone wrote:

I think since she is a mother, she needs to knock that crap off. Time to be a parent aUntitlednd set an example, not be a whore.

Whoaaaaa. A whore? Really? So I assume this individual consider any mom who steps into a sexy outfit or swimsuit is a whore and incompetent of being a loving mother… ridiculous and ignorant.

Haters be damned, I think she looks absolutely amazing (I WISH my boobs looked like that after 2 kids)!

Bottom line is we should NEVER feel compelled to get a “mommy haircut” or dress in a way viewed appropriate to society for a mom. By no means am I suggesting we should embarrass our kids and dress like confused teenagers, that’s a whole other discussion knowing what is suitable and appropriate for your body type, and what is stylish, but there’s no moral dress code you have to follow just because you’re a mom.

And yes I know these celebs have surgery and thousands of dollars to spent on the best cosmetics available,  but just look around your own neighborhood or office and I am sure you can find fabulous moms who are black, white, plus size, skinny, athletic or delicate who have refused to acknowledge frumpy.

I don’t care if someone thinks I am being immodest or inappropriate9, that says more about them than me, and haters you can pull my stilettos from my cold dead fingers!

So mommies I challenge you to do 1 thing, big or small to make you feel sexy this month, and share with me!

Here’s some ideas:

Buy a new foundation, a proper one, learn how to contour if you don’t know ( ,and while you are at it, take the extra three or four minutes to primp yourself and feel pretty — just for you.

Invest in some new expensive underwear, the sexier, the better, you would be amazed at how a sexy pair of underwear can boost your confidence.; (I Looove to shop here)

Flirt harmlessly – Sometimes it’s an ego   boost to get a little innocent attention from someone other than your man. “Innocent flirting is meant to make you, and hopefully the other person, feel a little bit better about yourselves. It’s as simple as making eye contact with people as you walk down the street, and maybe even give a little smile. Just putting out those attraction vibes will instantly increase your mojo. Whether you’re married or single, we all want to feel desired. This type of innocent flirting will instantly make you feel sexy and empowered.

Endorphins are a powerful thing, and you can stimulate them right now for immediate gratification and long-term gain, so do something that gets your heart racing….do that scuba certification, or dance classes, or anything you would normally say no to.

Go on a girls weekend break away, or even just a girls night, dress up in your best, open your heart, and laugh as loud as you want.

Get a beautiful brown tan (if you are white like me, if not you are already 1 step closer to sexiness), limited time in the sun, or self-tanning lotion is great and safe, so I suggest that.  Tanning is great to hide those stretch marks and even makes cellulite appear less prominent. You would not believe how it boosts your confidence. I personally suggest

Dancing like no one is watching, you know the hair whipping, booty shaking kind, to extra loud music in your kitchen, living room or where ever. A perfect cardio/stress-relieving opportunity.

Go be a yummy mommy!!!


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Cindy Breet • August 17, 2015

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