Where we all fail as moms
Why it is okay to take a mom break
I haven’t taken much of them…..but I plan to.
Just typing the words make me break out in a sweat as waves of guilt and anxiety wash over me.
Daily we moms suppress the fact that we are exhausted, and frankly just running on empty. We convince ourselves that this is just what moms do, and we continue to try to squeeze the last drop from an already empty vessel.
We are completely oblivious to the limits of our own body and mind. And we just continue to squeeze.
Part because it’s a mommies nature, and part because society has shown us that moms are “super”, and shouldn’t be anything less. Oh society is a bitch… blinded by our inner competitiveness and our own insecurities. Moms are isolated from one another, instead of supporting each other and pulling together, because ALL moms struggle, some just lie better.
The reality is that we all have limits, even super mom has limits, and if you try to push beyond those limits constantly, we lose sight of the beautiful ordinary and extraordinary moments each day, in a quest to simply get through the day. These moments we should be savoring, we should be fully present in these moments, not in a fatigued, disconnected ghost of our selfs state.
Parenting is not just roses and sunshine and skipping though the meadows holding hands stuff. It’s real hard stuff.
And by break, I don’t mean a vacation, I mean a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a ferocious life where we don’t belong to ourselves anymore. Where we give our love and energy away, every moment of our existence, and can’t figure out how to keep even a little bit for ourselves, and I don’t necessarily want to, but sometimes I need to in order to feel sane and stable and capable of keeping up with the never-ending needs of my beautifully precious children.
Don’t get me wrong, this is the life I have chosen, and I feel exceptionally honored and blessed to have it, but just once in a while I would like to use the bathroom for more that 5 seconds without having to yell, “Mommy is almost done! Are you OK.
Undoubtedly we’re smack in the middle of a cult of busyness, and no matter how hard we try not to, we eventually surrender and start to live like a hamster on a wheel, working our nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of our kids.
Personally for the past 4 years I have come up with excuse after excuse after excuse to not take care of myself all in the name of motherhood. But I have been fooling myself all along.
The more I ponder on this subject the more I realize that 1 hour of undivided attention to my children is better that 5 hours of distracted attention in between folding the laundry, doing the dishes and preparing dinner. Children want undivided attention, and they are happy with very little of it.
So moms, today I want to assure you that you are not alone, you are a good mommy, and you deserve a break. You will be better, stronger, and more intentional when you look after yourself.