Lady Ponder

A blog for the real and contemporary woman

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What to leave behind in 2014

I’ve always loved the start of a New Year. I love the possibilities it offers. A new year signals the opportunity to a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate.

I know resolutions are cliché, and 90% of them fail. I am however a firm believer in reflecting “pondering” on the year that has passed, and analyzing how close or far I am from the ideals I have determined for myself.

For me 2014 has brought some really great and some really bad with it. My new year’s resolutions for 2015….to leave the bad behind in 2014.

Anger

During 2014 I had too many “anger episodes”. I also have no concept of just letting things go, and as a result I have allowed anger to eat away at my peace, and allow bitterness to take root in my heart.

I am a long way from vanquishing this ugly emotion, but for starters I will not hold onto anything that will ultimately only hurt me anymore.

Resentment

Also known as unfairness. Resentment present itself as feelings of anger and discontentment that slowly creep up at someone or something that is perceived by you to be unfair. Harboring resentments is also something I was quite good at in 2014. This year I will try to remember that life isn’t fair, and no matter how cheated I feel, it won’t change that fact, and holding onto resentment will only hurt me…no one else. There is a quote that goes something like this: ”resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die”

Guilt

For me everything else on this list pale in comparison to this one. I am quite the expert in guilt. Guilt of not being good enough, for anyone or at anything, parenting, love, friendship, business you name it.  I don’t exactly know why this emotion is such an ongoing battle for me, but I do know it is a venomous and toxic and futile emotion. Little by little guild will chip away at your blissful heart, leaving behind only a shadow of who you once were.

Excuses

EXCU

No more excuses, if circumstances are unfavorable, or we are unhappy with the betrayal of a certain fiend (that we continue to be friends with), or we don’t have the level of job satisfaction we desire, or whatever else, we have NO right to complain if we have not made considerable attempts to change what we are complaining about.

 Comparison

There really is absolutely no point in comparing. There will always be someone else that looks like a “better” mom, that’s prettier, that has a more loving husband, or a bigger house….. Remember, you have no idea what that person is all about, and what other struggles he / she might be facing in their own lives. Comparing simply leads to jealously and a feeling of being either less or more than someone else, both of which are destructive mindsets. Next time you look at someone life, instead of wondering how you measure up, fill your heart with gratitude and simply be happy for them.

wasting Time

The life moments we will remember at the end of our lives, and the moments we savor most, are definitely not the time spent being “busy”, working, cleaning or running errands. No, it’s the moments we spend with loved ones, the in-between happenings. I so often hear people brag about how “busy” they are, and how there is just not enough hours in the day, like it’s an accomplishment. I feel sorry for these people, because they obviously don’t get to experience the wow moments in life half as much as we are supposed to. So this year I will make a commitment to leave behind the things that are stealing time from me, and remembering what is MOST important to me in this life.

The need to control others

I shamefully admit to being a control freak. I am however slowly realizing that I am accountable and responsibleNeed to control for my own actions ONLY, and trying to control others are not only exhausting, but futile. The same goes for trying to control every situation. I’ve realized that in many of the areas of my life where I’ve struggled and suffered most, one of the key factors has been my inability to acknowledge, express, or embrace my feelings of powerlessness. THIS YEAR I need to let go of what I cannot change, if I cannot accept it as it is.

Now for a fact I know it will be extremely difficult for me to learn the art of surrender, and I will fail many times during 2015, but at least I am aware of a characteristic that is robbing me of peace and bliss, and I can start the process of working on it.

So take some time for personal reflection, and find out what youBefore conclusion would like to leave behind in 2014, or change in 2015.  What were the lessons that 2014 taught you?  I know many people are happy to see the end of 2014, but remember oftentimes, our most significant growth is birthed from our deepest struggles. It is then when we experience the truly profound.

What are you leaving behind in 2014?

xxxx

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Cindy Breet • February 3, 2015


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Comments

  1. Trisha February 3, 2015 - 12:14 pm Reply

    I think the thing that I need to work on the most in 2015 is “should”. I should do this, I should have done that, I should have handled that situation differently. I also definitely need to stop and acknowledge my own contribution and the value that goes along with it.

    It sounds bizarre but I have stay at home mom guilt and wonder if by focusing my energy on raising my son at the moment, I am somehow not making a contribution. On the cognitive level I know that being in this privileged position is incredibly valuable to Lucas, but on an insecure level it feels as though the fraud police are going to arrive at any moment and charge me with being a drain on society.

    So I guess I need to work on seeing my own value in 2015, so that I can teach my kid to do the same one day. The other thing that I need to let go of is perfection because the only thing that a person can do perfectly is nothing.

  2. And when I get to the wizard, I’ll ask for courage | Trisha Cornelius

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