Lady Ponder

A blog for the real and contemporary woman

TOXIC PEOPLE in our lives

My Toxic people

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, toxic people are venomous to your soul, and when in their presence they will always chip away at your happy heart, leaving you angry, negative or exhausted…if you allow them to.

Toxic people are just that, toxic….The fact that the toxic person in your life isn’t likely to suddenly become a supportive, non-confrontational human being is a little depressing – but no less accurate.b033a077bf149c19b860b0a92aa4b439

Toxic people mostly undermine others in an attempt to bolster their own image.

They are judgmental, and Judgmental people can’t give you advice or feedback, they don’t listen well and are horrible at communicating. These people are narrow-minded and stubborn; they don’t ever want to listen. According to them, they know everything and they know the best way to do everything. They are a complete nightmare to deal with in a business environment and private life.

Toxic people come in many different shapes and forms. Regularly referred to as straight jacket individuals, they want to control everything and everyone around them. They want to be in charge of what you (and everyone else) do, what you say and even what you think. You know the person I am talking about-they freak out when you disagree with them and won’t stop trying to convince you that they are right and you should do what they say.


Oh and then there’s JJ’s. A JJ is a jealous-judgmental person. Jealous people are incredibly toxic because they have so much internal self-hate and conflict that they can’t be happy for anyone around them. And typically, their jealousy comes out as judgment and criticism.

Then there’s also the Crushers, they crush everything in their wake. They are always right, doesn’t take anyone else’s feelings or ideas into account and constantly puts themselves first.

I every so often meet a complete stranger or potential client or colleague or mother and they connect with absolute grace, generosity, kindness and appreciation. It’s such a beautiful thing  to be greeted by a gentle voice, a kind, open heart and sincerity. Toxic people are the opposite, but I appreciate sincere people so much more because I also deal with toxic people regularly.

In all probability most of us have“toxic” people in our lives, and although some suggest to simply rid our lives of them, it’s not always as easy, as they are sometimes connected to us in ways we cannot change. These people break down the positive flow of energy and ideas, they diminish others with their words, attitudes, and maneuvering. It’s a subtle kind of abuse really. So we cannot simply cut them from our lives, what do we do?

Remember this…

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.S

That’s what we do.

And this…

Your boundaries are the invisible barriers that separate you from the world around you. They define who you are and keep you safe and secure, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Having well-developed boundaries ensures that you are shielded from behaviors and actions that are injurious, disrespectful and invasive. Those with healthy boundaries know their limits and are able to express themselves with quiet strength and authority, but still in a righteous way.


We should live our best life possible, and learning to 4d26cd374e93a0762356c93c34db7590deal with toxic people is essential to life happily on planet earth. We cannot change them, but we can change how their behavior affect us, or doesn’t affect us.

Decide this minute not to be influenced by their behavior.  Stop tiptoeing around them or making special pardons for their continued belligerence. Constant drama and negativity is never worth putting up with.  If someone over the age 21 can’t be a reasonable, reliable and graceful adult on a regular basis, it’s time to Speak up.


Cindy Breet • August 19, 2016

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