A Letter to my mom
2015 has brought about many things for me. The absolute joy of bringing another child into this world, but also the toughest time of my life with my mom spending 2 months in the intensive care unit with an unexpected but devastating disease, ripping our lives apart. You have endured a dark and bitter time mom, but your agile green eyes were always crystal-bright and snapping with passion, a constant reminder to me that you will fight through this too!
During this time I learned many things, about myself, my dad, and of you mom! Most of all I realised how we often take for granted the people in our lives that mean the most to us.
As I sat down to write this letter I was filled with all kinds of emotions. Utter sadness for what you have been through, yet relentless gratitude that you have fought through it.
I know time will heal and dull the sharp edges of what you have endured, but there are some things I want you to never forget:
I hate to admit it but I was not an easy daughter, my teen years brought about many heartache, tears, and worries. I liked things my way. I had a very particular idea for my life and when I became captivated with something, I would obsessively pursue it to the absence of all other things. I pushed the limits on any rules that you set. I was utterly selfish. I screamed at you, endlessly fought with you, call you names and said I hated you. All the while you never stopped loving me, hugging me, and holding me through the pain. You knew attacks towards you in anger were never really about you. They were about my own insecurities, issues and pain. I now know how much it must have hurt and I’m sorry mom.
I would never understand how God saw fit to bless me with you. But he did and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Dad describes you as his “angel” and I guess that really is the best way to describe you.
For all the years that I have called you mom, I never once doubted your unconditional love. Up to this day you are my shoulder to cry on, my rock, my confidant, my mentor, my safe place and my constant source of inspiration and encouragement, and my biggest source of support.
Your presence in my life makes me a better person.
You have sacrificed things I will never know about, and you did it all because you loved me, but also because of the type of person you are. You have taught me nothing is a sacrifice in the name of love.
Over the years you opened our home to non-deserving wrongdoers who were struggling and taught us to love everyone with open arms.
People have done you wrong in so many ways, yet you will altruistically forget, and open your heart to them again. You have taught us about forgiveness, and the power that lies within it.
You and dad will give your last to lessen someone else’s suffering, be it emotional or material. You have taught us about self-sacrifice.
You and dads devotion, faithfulness and love for each other during you 35 year marriage leaves me speechless. You have taught me about unconditional and sacrificial love, selflessness and respect, and showed me how a Godly woman lives, something I will strive towards for as long as I live.
Your strength and determination over the years has taught me (amongst other things) that NOTHING is too big a burden to carry. Thank you for instilling in me the biblical values that I will carry with me every day of my life.
I can say without a doubt that the bond we share is unlike most mothers and daughters, and although it hasn’t always been easy, it has taught me a great deal about what matters most in life.
Thank you for living a life by example and for encouraging me to do the same.
You have always been the one I can turn to in the midst of my darkest moments, and you have been the one I turn to in the happiest moments. You are my best friend, and so much more!
My children look up to you, feel safe with you and respect you; they love you more than we will ever know. I am so glad to have such a strong role model for my children, and if I can only be half the mother you are, I would be so proud.
You have taught me to always be a lady (just like you). You have always handled yourself with grace and class no matter how difficult or outrageous the situations are. Most everyone I have met, that knows of you either personally or informally respects and admires you mom. You have overcome hard times and thrived in good times. I have been blessed with many things in my life, but one of the biggest most treasured things is having you as my mom.
As I wrote this letter I realized there are no words to describe the gratitude and love that I feel for you.
I respect you, I aspire to be just like you, I admire you, but most of all I love you mommy.
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